New Year’s Resolutions and 2017 Doll Goals

So 2017 is here. I always expect to feel different at the start of a new year, but I often never do. I think 2017 is another defining year for me, as i’m five months into living in a new state, I may be out of a job in a couple of weeks (still temping at the same place, hoping they’ll keep me on), and it’s the first time I’m starting a new year so far from home. I also think that since I expect to make California my new permanent home, my doll collection is kind of getting out of control…

Anyway, here are my resolutions:

  1. Lose some weight. I’m having trouble fitting into my clothes 😥 . I’m going to limit eating out to once a week.
  2. Save up for a condo or a house. XD This is kind of a lofty goal. I want to own my own place sometime in my 30s (WHICH IS SOON D: OMG). I know the real estate market for buyers is kind of crap right now, but it doesn’t hurt to start saving.
  3. Form good habits – exercising, journaling, meditating, relaxing… you know…

Here are my dolly goals:

  1. The next blythe I buy will be a new release with pink hair. NO EXCEPTIONS SELF.
  2. Own a 1st Gen Licca Repro.
  3. Maybe add a Jerry Berry to the family.

My doll collection currently has no pink haired girls! I went from 2 to none last year. If I’m going to buy a new blythe, she WILL have pink hair.

I’m also finding that I’m obsessing over painted faces (in particular, eyes). The Jerry Berry’s proportions are kind of similar to blythes (they can share the same clothes, and they also have big heads). The Jerry Berrys’ eyes are so dreamy. I also want a 1st gen Licca chan – I love her almond shaped eyes!

I think having goals like this will help me spend my money more smartly, as opposed to all willy-nilly, must buy all the things (like i’ve been doing this past month).

I hope everyone is having a great start to the new year :3.

Just words

I’m still mid-slump, and the fact that things keep changing doesn’t help either. I haven’t been doing any hobby things lately, as I’ve been too busy vegetating and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix (omg I didn’t realize how funny 90’s slang and fashion were haha. Did I really dress like that???). 

I’m still working temp jobs, but I think I finally found an apartment that I can call home for a year! This means: I get to set up my dolls. I will start crafting again! I will finally be able to go get my cat back on the east coast. 

Renting a room in someone else’s house was (is?) an experience. I’ve never subsisted on frozen dinner and cup ramen before, and also, I now appreciate just how clean my parents’ home is, and how much work it is to keep a house that clean. My dollies are all in a box right now, including my newest girl, who I’m waiting to send over to Australia for a makeover once I save up enough (teh monies… It slips through my fingers). Money has been stressing me out, moreso than it used to – I’ve never had to live paycheck-to-paycheck before – it’s mentally exhausting, and super triggering to my anxiety.

And now, I have to think about furnishing my new place! This is both exciting and stressful since furniture is SO EXPENSIVE. I’ve picked out a color palette though!


Mint, gold, grey, and white! I found those photos via Google a la Pinterest ^^. My new place is going to be super tiny, but having a space that’s all mine will do me good, I think. 

Anyway, sorry in advance if I go quiet >_<. 

Displaced in Paradise

Just a rambly (quite possibly long) update. It’s been a whole week since I moved westward, and I’m not sure the reality of the changes has hit me yet. My brain tends to put a negative spin on everything (a bad habit I’m trying to correct), and try as I might, I can’t shake off these thoughts:

  1. I’m technically homeless.
  2. I’m unemployed.
  3. The money… It slips through my fingers (insert Mulan reference here).
  4. I miss my cat.
  5. I’m no longer in NYC.

I’m a New Yorker in California… Which, I guess isn’t all that rare – people relocate all the time. I think I still might be on New York time, as I woke up at 7AM naturally. I went for a walk, and it feels kind of like a waking dream. There’s hummingbirds and bunnies just going about their business in the neighborhood. 

It really does feel surreal. Everything feels different – even my sweat feels different (it was explained to me that this is because there’s no humidity here. Bizarre).

I’m really glad I decided to see my old therapist before leaving everything I knew. She really helped me keep grounded before the move, and I try to remember her words and practice her advice every day I’m here. Here’s my list of positives:

  1. It’s so beautiful here. It’s so serene.
  2. I feel less like I’m being smothered by a sea of angry people.
  3. I have a support system here.
  4. I have a support system in NYC too.


I haven’t been able to do many doll things while here. I think it’s because if I’m not trying to get my life in order, I’m napping because I’m exhausted. Once I get settled (hopefully soon), I’ll be able to take my girls out for some photos.

Ch-ch-changes

I’m currently in mild procrastination mode, starting my new life on the other side of the country. It’s weird being in California, since I’ve lived in NYC my whole life. It still hasn’t hit me yet that this is my new home. Everything is so foreign – the layout of the streets, the lack of the hustle and bustle, the weather…

I tried to bring as much of my home with me, but only managed to bring two dolls – Prisma and Remi. 😦 Marina and Finley couldn’t make the trip this time around, but once I’m settled (and no longer technically homeless), I will most likely have them shipped to me. 

I think another comforting thing about my dolls and this hobby is that I can always depend on my girls to never change. They’re sort of a constant in my every day life. I started to feel a big overwhelmed yesterday night, so I decided to just redress Remington for fun.


Remington is wearing a sweater I knitted, a minijijo tutu, and her stock shoes (which, fun fact, have magnets on the bottom!). 

I intend to redress Prisma tonight… And maybe hopefully take these two girls out for some photos. 

Back to work 😦 .

Slowly packing up my life

It’s weird, but I feel like my move is kind of the start of a new chapter in the story of my life (lol I couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it). I actually haven’t started packing, as I kind of dread the idea of sifting through my things and figuring out whether it’s coming with me or staying behind. 

The one decision that I made that will haunt me is the fact that I will be leaving my cat behind with family, until I have reached some form of stability in my new surroundings. I love my cat – she’s my baby. I know coming back for her after I’ve settled down is the responsible choice for me and for her, but it’s gutting to think I won’t see her for a couple of months at least. I also worry that she will be taken care of properly. I worry a lot. About everything. All the time. 

On a lighter note, I also feel sad leaving some of my dolls behind. (Of course, they will be shipped to me at a later time.) I’ve decided to bring my three custom girls with me, I guess for the fact that they are more fragile than my stock girls, and they are also a bit more fun to photograph, since they have such different expressions from one another. 

They’re also quite comforting to me… I think it’s because Finley was my first Blythe, who I’ve been through a lot of firsts with, and Marina and Prisma were gifts from very dear friends whom I connected with through the hobby (so they’re kind of like my good luck charms). 

I will miss having Reese and Elowyn around for the time being… Which is why I’m bringing these two girls to the next Blythe meet I’m attending this weekend!


I won’t be keeping her in this outfit for the meet, but I thought Reese looked quite cute in her blue and orange ensemble, and I wanted to share ^^.

Ah… Life is nerve-wracking and time just kind of flies by. As it was, I kind of felt like most of the past few years of my life were spent in continuous black and white accompanied by white noise and the sound of my own anxiety. When I think about the alternative of spending any more years like this – stagnant, living within the same 10 mile radius I was born, spending most of my time at a job that seems like a waste of time, just kind of hoping that things would change or get better without me having to do anything, I realize I’m making the best choice for me by making changes in my life. 

I hope to keep updating my blog regularly during my transition… But know that if I disappear for a bit, it will not be for long! 

Weekend rituals and life in general

Every weekend, I try to redress my dolls, that way I can figure out what items in the doll wardrobe I love, get a better sense of what things go together, and it’s quite relaxing to redress them while sipping a glass of wine and watching some YouTube videos. 

Prisma (left) and Finley (right) are this week’s best dressed girls ^^. Prisma is wearing a checkered shirt and tutu by MINIJIJO with a pink hair clip. Finley is wearing an adorable shirt made by my friend, a Missblythe2012 jumper skirt and Qmagicdoll shoes. I love how different these two girls look! They were both customized by different artists, and so their faces are quite different styles. I’m so in love with Prisma, but somewhere down the line, I may give her a licca body (her neck wobbles on her current body, so I’m not sure that I would want to do an arm transplant).

I’m slowly decluttering my things in order to move with less. I do foresee myself having to leave some Blythes and coming back for them later or having them mailed to me, but it’s so hard for me to choose who to bring.

Now that the move date is less than a month, my anxiety has kicked up to over level 9000. The less time between me and my move, the less I feel prepared, and the more real the changes feel. I’m scared… Because change is terrifying. But I see it as having to choose between staying in my current city and living with depression, or relocating and dealing with anxiety. Staying feels like giving up (just because sameness is easier), and I don’t want to give up. I want to someday be happy, and I don’t think that where I’m living right now will lead me there. 


Lol. Check out my Fitbit. This is my heart rate as I sit in my chair, panicking (for reference, my resting heart rate is 63 bpm). 

The one thing that’s changed for me though, is that I’m also feeling bouts of excitement mixed in with the periodic worry. I think I know that in the future, I will be glad that I’ve taken a risk in my life, after playing it safe for so long.

I hope everyone had a great weekend! 

Happiness in simple things 


So I’m torn between naming this new girl:

  1. Kenzie
  2. Hadley
  3. Prisma

She’s so delicate looking. I’m not sure any of these names will fit, because when I look at her, these names don’t come to mind (except Prisma, for some reason… But it’s such a oddball name, and also the name of a villain in Sailor Moon). I guess I’ll think some more (way open to suggestions!!… help…).

I’m in a weird funk right now, I think because big changes are coming my way and fast. I know that a lot of my negativity stems from my anxiety, but I can’t turn it off or shake it off. I try to take a day by day approach to life, and do the best I can today so that I might be better prepared tomorrow, but sometimes my “best” doesn’t seem good enough. Even as we speak, despite being thrilled to have this beautiful new Blythe in my collection, I’m worried about safely transporting her with me during my move. Yeah… I’m feeling weird.

Also one more thing! I finally got around to knitting with the hand dyed yarn I purchased off of etsy, and it’s so beautiful~~~~


I’m completely in love with this color way. It’s well on its way to becoming a shawl ^^.

What’s in a name?

Busy, busy weekend! Today especially!

I went to a Blythe meet today, and the turnout was big! We had it at a park in the city, and I was so glad that the weather was nice today (not too hot, cool breeze, slightly cloudy, NO RAIN!). It was a great meet – there were tons of dolls, new faces, and snacks! Also, there were quite a few non-blythe dolls there, including my Repro Licca chan, a Wataru, 3 Susie Sad eyes, and one yarnhead doll (named Jean Paul).

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I brought two girls out today – Marina and my Repro Licca chan, who I decided to name Remington (Remi). >_< I didn’t have time to redress Marina before the meet, but I did pop Remi into one of my new Sleepforever dresses!

I was also surprised by a generous gift from my friend, who I met last year and have bonded with since over our shared love of blythe dolls, food, anime, and cute and pretty things. My friend asked me if I wanted to adopt one of her girls she was considering rehoming. I always hesitate to accept big gifts, and to me, a Blythe is a big gift. I was really touched by my friend’s generosity, and I only wish I had something equally special to give to her. This is one of the amazing things about the Blythe hobby – the fact that you can form a meaningful friendship from a simple conversation that started with the question “Have you heard of Blythe con?”

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Here is my newest girl! She looks like she might be a customized Simply Vanilla. After some sleuthing by a fellow blythe enthusiast, she deducted that this girl was customized by Sugar Luna. I put the doll in my other Sleepforever purchase (matching dresses with Remi), a pair of white tights, and some black maryjanes. She has a slightly ghosty look about her… I think it’s because her coloring is quite pale. She has the cutest freckles, stormy grey painted lids, and a slightly dark mauve lip.

As soon as I got her home, I changed her pull strings (they are now a light puple), gave her pull charms, and cleaned up some scuffs on her face. I think I might name her Hadley or Hyacinth. I’m still thinking though! Finally, a girl I can dress in black and muted neutral colors! She looks like Finley’s more emo/reserved twin sister. Kind of like how Reese and Marina look like sisters. Elowyn is really the odd duck out, with her translucent face and dark brown hair.

I’m feeling quite happy with my doll family to date. I love that three of them have huge sentimental value to me, one was my very first blythe and the very first girl I’ve had customized for me, and one has the same birthday as me (birthday, release day, potato, potahto).

Life is a funny thing. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would l0ve dolls, I would have called said “no way.” By far, the blythe hobby has been my most social hobby, and one that has changed my life for the better.

Melancholia

Thus is my mood.

I worry a lot. I am a huge worrier, and always have been for as long as I can remember. The feeling is part of my everyday, and since I’m so inside my head, it’s hard for me to discern the nonsense from the serious… So everything becomes categorized as a Code-Red-Danger-Will-Robinson situation.

I’ve been in something of a slump lately when it comes to doing those serious business things – in my case, really thinking and planning out my near future and making preparations for them. I always try to take things one step at a time, since there’s no point in freaking out about step 10 when I haven’t even gotten to step 1.

So, in procrastinating during the three day weekend, I somehow stumbled onto a popular goth youtuber’s channel. I don’t necessarily identify with this subculture, but It’s Black Friday is fun and interesting to look at, and also seems really nice and has a generally positive message and attitude in her videos. I watched quite a few of her videos, but one in particular really resonated with me:

It wasn’t her situation in particular that I identify with, but her message and her outlook that I admire. Faced with tough choices, she ultimately did what’s right for her in striving for happiness, and that’s something I think is really brave.

Another thing I did to procrastinate was redress a couple of my dolls.


Rory (top) is wearing a shirt by MINIJIJO, pants by Missblythe2012, and stock shoes. I put her hair in a fish tail braid. Elowyn (bottom) is wearing a shirt by C’mon Dolly, skirt by Missblythe2012, and stock shoes (I actually switched Elowyn’s shoes out to pink converses and put these ankle boots on Rory). I like how Rory looks in red!

I have to get back to crafting for my dolls, but making human size things (socks…) has kind of taken over my life XD. Glad to be starting the work week on a Tuesday, and I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend or just weekend (depending on where you are in the world)!

Things I’m looking forward to

  • The weekend – It’s been hell-week at my job.
  • Ordering yarn from Knit Picks – I think I’ll bite the bullet this weekend! My sister said she would dye yarn with me, so I plan on getting a few skeins of bare yarn ^^. Also, I’m going to treat myself to some sock yarn! I want to attempt to knit myself some socks.
  • The BJD eyes that I ordered for my Hujoo Janus Gato – They’re currently at customs… Hopefully they come next week.
  • Quite possibly making a 2 hour trek via public transportation to Gundam Planet in the next state over for some MSC (because I ran out… also I kind of want to check out this place).
  • Receiving a swap package from a dolly friend. ^^ She’s already received the package I sent to her, and tried some of the items on her dolls. I love seeing photos of other people’s dolls wearing things I’ve handmade. The below are from her flickr ^^ (I made both hats and the white sweater in the photo on the bottom).

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  • A weekend of knitting while cuddling with my cat and watching doll-related youtube videos.
  • Finally head out to the nearby park with one or two of my Blythes and have a photo session (most likely at 9AM in the morning to avoid them crowds).

Here’s to a very quick Friday!