Just a rambly (quite possibly long) update. It’s been a whole week since I moved westward, and I’m not sure the reality of the changes has hit me yet. My brain tends to put a negative spin on everything (a bad habit I’m trying to correct), and try as I might, I can’t shake off these thoughts:
- I’m technically homeless.
- I’m unemployed.
- The money… It slips through my fingers (insert Mulan reference here).
- I miss my cat.
- I’m no longer in NYC.
I’m a New Yorker in California… Which, I guess isn’t all that rare – people relocate all the time. I think I still might be on New York time, as I woke up at 7AM naturally. I went for a walk, and it feels kind of like a waking dream. There’s hummingbirds and bunnies just going about their business in the neighborhood.
It really does feel surreal. Everything feels different – even my sweat feels different (it was explained to me that this is because there’s no humidity here. Bizarre).
I’m really glad I decided to see my old therapist before leaving everything I knew. She really helped me keep grounded before the move, and I try to remember her words and practice her advice every day I’m here. Here’s my list of positives:
- It’s so beautiful here. It’s so serene.
- I feel less like I’m being smothered by a sea of angry people.
- I have a support system here.
- I have a support system in NYC too.
I haven’t been able to do many doll things while here. I think it’s because if I’m not trying to get my life in order, I’m napping because I’m exhausted. Once I get settled (hopefully soon), I’ll be able to take my girls out for some photos.