I’m still mid-slump, and the fact that things keep changing doesn’t help either. I haven’t been doing any hobby things lately, as I’ve been too busy vegetating and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix (omg I didn’t realize how funny 90’s slang and fashion were haha. Did I really dress like that???).
I’m still working temp jobs, but I think I finally found an apartment that I can call home for a year! This means: I get to set up my dolls. I will start crafting again! I will finally be able to go get my cat back on the east coast.
Renting a room in someone else’s house was (is?) an experience. I’ve never subsisted on frozen dinner and cup ramen before, and also, I now appreciate just how clean my parents’ home is, and how much work it is to keep a house that clean. My dollies are all in a box right now, including my newest girl, who I’m waiting to send over to Australia for a makeover once I save up enough (teh monies… It slips through my fingers). Money has been stressing me out, moreso than it used to – I’ve never had to live paycheck-to-paycheck before – it’s mentally exhausting, and super triggering to my anxiety.
And now, I have to think about furnishing my new place! This is both exciting and stressful since furniture is SO EXPENSIVE. I’ve picked out a color palette though!
Mint, gold, grey, and white! I found those photos via Google a la Pinterest ^^. My new place is going to be super tiny, but having a space that’s all mine will do me good, I think.
Anyway, sorry in advance if I go quiet >_<.
Every weekend, I try to redress my dolls, that way I can figure out what items in the doll wardrobe I love, get a better sense of what things go together, and it’s quite relaxing to redress them while sipping a glass of wine and watching some YouTube videos.
Prisma (left) and Finley (right) are this week’s best dressed girls ^^. Prisma is wearing a checkered shirt and tutu by MINIJIJO with a pink hair clip. Finley is wearing an adorable shirt made by my friend, a Missblythe2012 jumper skirt and Qmagicdoll shoes. I love how different these two girls look! They were both customized by different artists, and so their faces are quite different styles. I’m so in love with Prisma, but somewhere down the line, I may give her a licca body (her neck wobbles on her current body, so I’m not sure that I would want to do an arm transplant).
I’m slowly decluttering my things in order to move with less. I do foresee myself having to leave some Blythes and coming back for them later or having them mailed to me, but it’s so hard for me to choose who to bring.
Now that the move date is less than a month, my anxiety has kicked up to over level 9000. The less time between me and my move, the less I feel prepared, and the more real the changes feel. I’m scared… Because change is terrifying. But I see it as having to choose between staying in my current city and living with depression, or relocating and dealing with anxiety. Staying feels like giving up (just because sameness is easier), and I don’t want to give up. I want to someday be happy, and I don’t think that where I’m living right now will lead me there.
Lol. Check out my Fitbit. This is my heart rate as I sit in my chair, panicking (for reference, my resting heart rate is 63 bpm).
The one thing that’s changed for me though, is that I’m also feeling bouts of excitement mixed in with the periodic worry. I think I know that in the future, I will be glad that I’ve taken a risk in my life, after playing it safe for so long.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!